At some point on the path of almost every one of my coaching clients, there is a moment of clarity. Out of nowhere, there is a glimpse of what’s possible. She sees so clearly how SMALL she has been thinking. The walls of the tiny box where she has confined herself are now crushing her.
It is liberating. But also frightening. The question arises: Can I become this big? Will I let myself do that?
In other words…
I think I’m ready to let go of these old limitations. I think it’s time to quit worrying about the opinions of others. I know I can really stop playing small. Am I up for it?!
It can take your breath away when you reach this moment of discovery. And it has no choice but to change the entire game.
So, I invite you to welcome this kind of bigness into your life!
It’s two months into this new year. Take some time to re-ignite, re-inspire, and re-invigorate your visions and dreams. Here are five steps to help you stop playing small and start living BIG.
1 – Mind your Mind
Your thoughts are things. They can be powerful tools, or devastating weapons.
It’s not always easy or quick to clean up years of negativity. AND the truth is you are the only one who can begin to do just that. If you’re constantly berating yourself, doubting yourself, obsessing about the opinions of others, then set your intention to turn that around.
Listen to upbeat audiobooks in your car. Post affirmations in spots where you’ll see them throughout the day. Start a gratitude journal.
Remind yourself: “Energy flows where attention goes,” and place your attention on gratitude, love, and joy. Be relentless! You can’t afford the luxury of a negative thought!
2 – Take Action
Long ago, when I was trying to get confident enough to do my first open-mic night, I chickened out three different times, walking out of the venues without performing. I was waiting for self-esteem to appear.
It never appeared. But finally, with a shaky voice, I did my first open-mic night anyway. What I discovered was this:
Self-esteem shows up BECAUSE you take action. Not before!
Here’s a mantra for you: “Create! Don’t wait!”
What one action-step can you take toward your dream today?
3 – Radiate Success
Do you whine and complain to anyone who will listen? Do you tell your sad story to get people to feel sorry for you and give you a break? Do you see yourself as a victim who can’t CREATE outcomes, so you try to manipulate outcomes?
Living big means that you radiate success.
Stop posting to Facebook or Twitter about how miserable you are. Don’t share how bad things are at the office with your clients. Refrain from whining to the gallery visitor about how the economy is terrible for artists! (Save that stuff for your coach if you need to get it out of your system.)
Remember this: Like attracts like. When you radiate success, then success is drawn to you.
4 – Regularly Exit your Comfort Zone
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got!”
This is one of my favorite expressions. Cuz it’s true!
I’ve worked with hundreds of people as a mentor, a coach, a leader of retreats. The ones who write me emails about how their lives have changed are always the ones who are willing to exit their comfort zones. They try new things. They let themselves get scared. They say yes to new opportunities. They take time to go within and ask themselves what they want next and how they can create it. (Rather than staying on auto-pilot.)
People who live big have one thing in common: They learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable!
5 – Surround Yourself with Support
I hired my first coach ten years ago. I paid him more per month than my mortgage at the time! I’ve since been a part of many coaching groups and masterminds – continuing to invest in this model of massive support. I swear by it!
That’s because we need to surround ourselves with encouraging believers who see through our limiting beliefs to the huge powerful souls that we are. Many people work and socialize in toxic environments. If this is you, then you might need to step out of your comfort zone and actively seek out positive people who want to create and attract their dreams. Find those who want to live big like you!
Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 11,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.em>
Networking and Connecting
Since starting my business over a year ago, I have attended many local networking meetings. Typically, I will attend a meeting twice before making the decision and investment to join. Local networking was one of the most difficult things that I had to get used, and although I still get butterflies, they are not as bad as what they used to be. A huge part of this was having the confidence! Now, I have it!
Some tips that I use when I attend these networking events include:
- Have enough business cards on hand
Fellow networkers really need to be able to connect with you, as well as how to connect you with others who may be interested in your products and services. Isn’t the entire point of networking?
- Don’t even expect to sell or close any business. If you do, fantastic!
People like to get to know fellow business owners before signing a contract. Whether they go home to do a Google search or schedule some additional one on one time with you, it’s not in most people’s nature to just do business with someone they know absolutely nothing about.
- If you decide to join, attend as regularly as possible
Make sure that the day and time of the meetings work with your schedule. As with number two, people want to build relationships with those that they do business with and want to know that they are reliable.
- Have one-on-one meetings
In a one or two hour networking meeting, it’s impssible to know what every one in the group does and needs for business referrals. Schedule quality one on one’s in between the normal networking meetings to discuss services and products in detail.
- Be Respectful
Now this is probably my biggest pet peeve, and it’s something that I personally learned as a child. When you are doing your 30-second or one minute commercial, you want to have everyone’s undivided attention, right? So why not return the favor by giving everyone else your full attention when they are speaking.
Currently, I am an Assistant Organizer of a local networking group, North Dallas Women in Business, and I have met some of the most professional, success-minded women there. I am also a member of a local American Business Women Association’s Express Network group. I can now say that I look forward to networking and meeting other professionals – face to face – despite the occasional butterflies!
