By Christine Kane

Know what’s funny?

Many women will talk about anything when it comes to personal growth work. They aren’t afraid to “go there.”

But as soon as the topic of Saying No comes up, they’ll sit back in their seats.

“Sorry.”

“No can do.”

“I tried that. It didn’t work.”

“Huh-uh.”

In fact, it seems the only thing they’re willing to say no to is… Saying No!

But saying no is important as you move to the next level in your life. One of the items in the Tool Kit of my new Uplevel Your Life Mastery Program is called “The Natural No: Templates for Saying No Authentically, Clearly, and Graciously.” After all, it’s tough to uplevel if you don’t know how to eliminate and release!

Saying No isn’t hard. It’s just that many of us do it badly! Here are the seven biggest mistakes people make when they say no…

1 – Waiting until they’re put on the spot

Most people never actually take time to ask themselves about their No’s. They wait until they’re put on the spot – and then they let their emotions (guilt, fear, anxiety) make their decisions for them!

While you can’t be prepared for every request that comes your way, you can get clear on your No’s in advance. I call this The Proactive No.

Write your list of Proactive No’s on a day off. “No volunteer positions on weekends.” “No more committees.” “No Sunday night dinner parties.” Get clear about how you want to honor your time and priorities. That way when you say no, it will be simple and authentic!

2 – Over-explaining

Rather than saying a clear “No,” many people try to explain their way out of it. This only digs them deeper into the muck.

When you over-explain yourself, you embody uneasiness. Over-explaining says, “I don’t really mean this, so I’m trying to find proof.”

3 – Using disempowered language

Language is a key element of effective “No-Saying.”

Empowered language is clear, firm, compassionate, and keeps the focus on the issue. Most people get so nervous and distracted that they ultimately do themselves a disservice by speaking at all. They ramble through the territory of the “sort of,” “kinda,” and “ya know.”

Empowered language stops the rambling. “I’m getting clear on my priorities so I’m cutting back on the extra activities in my life. In order to honor that intention, I need to say no. Thanks for understanding.”

4 – Trying to get approval

Rather than simply turning something down, many people try to “campaign” for their No.

They want to say “No.” But that’s not enough.

They also want the parties involved to approve of their “No,” agree with their “No,” and not be mad at them for saying “No.”

Saying No means that some people might be disappointed in you. That’s their “stuff.” Accept that. Give them the gift of allowing their disappointment. Give yourself the gift of having preferences.

5 – Hoping people will just ‘get it.’

Not responding at all. Putting the request off for a week. Avoiding eye-contact. These are the dances we do, hoping that people will just “get it.”

The problem with this approach is not that you’re not being “nice” to other people.

The problem is that you aren’t being complete with yourself. These little “Non-no’s” are actually draining your creative energy. Stop the leaks, and say no in the moment!

6 – Promising something they don’t mean

There’s a “Friends” episode where Ross’s new girlfriend asks him where their relationship is “going.” Ross admits to his Friends that he doesn’t want the relationship to go anywhere. But rather than stating this to his girlfriend, Ross gives her the keys to his apartment and tells her he loves her.

It’s a funny episode because it shows how much energy and integrity we lose when we dishonor our own preferences and desires – all in an effort to avoid another person’s disappointment.

7 – Giving in to guilt

When you say No, you might have to deal with some guilt.

At first, being on your own side is scary. This is why some people cave in as soon as the discomfort of guilt arises. Within a week, they change their mind and opt back into the thing they didn’t want to do in the first place.

Wavering and waffling sends shaky messages to everyone involved, including yourself. Allow the guilt, and just experience it. You’ll get more comfortable after a little practice!

—–

Let’s face it. Saying No is uncomfortable sometimes. But once you experience the clarity and space that comes from saying No successfully, then you’ll never want to go back to the way you used to do it!

Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 11,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at http://www.christinekane.com/.

Paula Belyeu, founder of Integrity Virtual Solutions, announced that they have successfully completed the Virtual Event Specialist Certification Program, a 4-week training program that equips Virtual Assistants and Online Professionals with the key skills and tools necessary to offer their clients important Virtual Event Management services.

In these tough economic times, more and more companies and small businesses are choosing to hold Virtual Events rather than the more expensive offline events and conferences. In fact, “Virtual Meetings and Events [will] replace 2.1 million airline seats by 2012” (Gartner, Feb. 2009). 76% of businesses say they had begun using or plan to start using Virtual Events in 2009, while 70% of Corporate Event Organizers predict a reduction in live events in 2010 and forecast significant growth in virtual conferences and webinars. Consequently, it is vital that Virtual Assistants and Online Professionals offer skills in Virtual Event Management to fulfill their clients’ needs.

That is why Integrity Virtual Solutions is excited to be adding Virtual Event Specialist Services to their business, including the setting up and delivering of Tele-events featuring one or many speakers, Webinars and Webcasts, Online Radio Shows, Live Weekly Podcasts and Live Streaming TV Shows.

In VAClassroom’s Virtual Event Specialist Certification Program, Integrity Virtual Solutions learned strategies, best practices, tips and techniques for efficiently and effectively creating great events for their clients using the leading technologies like Instant Teleseminar, GoToWebinar, Camtasia, Ustream and more.

Integrity Virtual Solutions is a Virtual Assistant and Marketing Consulting company offering a wide range of niche services, including Social Media, Online and Relationship Marketing Services and Website Solutions. Having received the Virtual Event Specialist Certification, they are pleased to add key Virtual Event services and tools to their business. This certification also entitles them to ongoing training as technology develops so they will continue to offer quality up-to-date Virtual Event Specialist skills to their clients. For more information, visit Integrity Virtual Solutions.

By Christine Kane

The entrepreneurial spirit runs wild in us creative types.

Whether graphic designer, author, or coach – the possibility of freedom and self-generated income is so appealing!

However, many get quickly burnt-out and disillusioned on this path. That’s because no one teaches us how to have a business AND be creative all at once. It’s quite a challenge!

So, from my very own Been-There-Done-That files, here are the Top 10 Mistakes Solo-preneurs Make in Business…

1 – Not scheduling Vision-Time.

If you don’t take time away from your business for visioning and thinking, it’s easy to become a reactor, not a creator.

A business is dynamic and organic. (So are you!) Shape and create your business by taking time out for planning and visioning your desires and new directions.

2 – Too much Vision Time!

Some people are forever analyzing and planning, afraid of doing the wrong thing or of failure. At some point, you must take action. Just know that failure is only failure if you give up!

3 – Waiting for rescue.

Book deals. Hit records. Getting on Oprah. A huge IPO.

Hey, great things can and DO happen all the time in life. However, waiting for something to “sweep you away” is a surefire path to frustration.

Having a business is an on-going relationship. It can be remarkable! But like any relationship, it requires attention and action. Hoping for rescue is a sign that you’re afraid of the potential of your own power!

4 – Living in the “Field of Dreams.”

Remember these amazing words?

“If you build it, they will come.”

Really? I can do that, and everything else will be taken care of?

Well, sort of. There IS truth in that famous line.

But too often, people think it means, “All I have to do is put up my sign – and the world will rush to my door.”

This can lead to disillusionment. That’s because “building it” is not a one-time thing!

Here’s another way to look at it:

“If you build it they will come. But if you build it and market it, they’ll pay you!”

5 – Making problems a problem.

Donald Trump advises something that contradicts every positive thinking tenet out there. He says to expect problems.

Yes, even if you’re a mindset junkie!

Glitches, hiccups, snafus. Hey, they happen. (Like my new web design hitting bumps in the road!) Too often, we let problems paralyze us, and steal our time and emotions. Successful people expect “problems,” and always put their focus on finding the solution!

6 – Taking numbers personally.

Much of business is a numbers game. Sometimes the numbers are low. Sometimes they’re high!

Numbers are just numbers. They are not the Universe’s way of telling you that you should give up and get a job at The Gap!

7 – Waiting to “feel like it.”

Creative types often don’t market themselves until they “feel like it.” Which – let’s face it – is never!

Marketing works best as a system. Robert Middleton says, “Marketing is not only about being known, it’s about not being forgotten.” In other words, learn how to market so you won’t have to dread it!

(If you don’t know how or what to market, then you definitely need to be on my teleseminar on January 20! Click here to sign up!)

8 – The Cycle of Reactivity And Panic.

Is this you?

Every now and then, you realize you have no clients. You react. You go on a marketing/cold-calling binge. You fill your schedule. And for months, you panic – you can barely breathe, let alone hire someone or continue marketing.

Sure enough, it shifts. The projects end. The clients are gone. Suddenly, your calendar is empty. The cycle begins again.

I call this the Cycle of Reactivity And Panic. (C.R.A.P.) It is one of the unhealthiest habits out there. Set an intention to create a new pattern.

9 – Status-before-Spotlight Thinking.

All too often, we wait to “deserve” the spotlight. We hope for enough status, letters after our names, or training before we’ll make the slightest move toward a bigger opportunity.

News Flash: No amount of outside status can create worthiness. Success happens when we take chances and play bigger, regardless of outside status.

10 – Not investing in yourself.

Every successful entrepreneur invests time and money in herself and her business. She attends workshops and teleseminars. She hires coaches.

Too many of us go it alone. This leads to limited thinking, isolation, and burn out.

When an opportunity arrives, don’t ask: “How much does it cost to do this?” Ask instead: “How much will it cost me NOT to do this?” This simple question has changed my life!

NOTE: If you want more great tips on this topic, don’t miss Christine’s Uplevel Your Business Teleseminar on Wednesday, January 20! Click here for more information!

Performer, songwriter, and creativity consultant Christine Kane publishes her ‘LiveCreative’ weekly ezine with more than 11,000 subscribers. If you want to be the artist of your life and create authentic and lasting success, you can sign up for a FRE*E subscription to LiveCreative at www.christinekane.com.

Do you know the “true” value of your website?  It can easily take your business from blah to FANTASTIC!   One of the things that you need to learn is how to use your website stats to get your site to that “FANTASTIC” stage!

Website stats can tell you different things, but here are just a few things that your website stats can tell you:

1. You can find out what keywords your visitors are using to search for you, your product and/or service.
2. You can find out which page or blog posts is getting the most rave and traffic.
3. You can learn what your visitors like and dislike
4. You can find out what countries your visitors are from
5. You can find out how many new visitors you have received
6. You can set goals to track sales and conversions and measure your site engagement goals against: threshold levels that you can define

Here are five website statistics’ tools.  Some of them I use for my websites and clients’ websites, and others that I’ve heard about:

Google Analytics: I used Google Analytics even before I began creating websites.  It’s easy enough for anybody to use and understand.
Google’s definition is “The enterprise-class web analytics solution that gives you rich insights into your website traffic and marketing effectiveness.  Powerful, flexible and easy-to-use features let you see and analyze your traffic data in an entirely new way.”

Woopra: When I went to WordCamp Dallas in June, I learned about Woopra.  What impressed me the most about Woopra is the ability to have everything that Google has and the ability to see “real-time” stats.   I also appreciate the clean interface
Woopra’s definition: The world’s most comprehensive, information rich, easy to use, real-time Web tracking and analysis application. We deliver the richest library of visitor statistics in the industry through our innovative desktop application. But Woopra is more than simply statistics.

AWStats: A free powerful and featureful tool that generates advanced web, streaming, ftp or mail server statistics, graphically. This log analyzer works as a CGI or from command line and shows you all possible information your log contains, in few graphical web pages.

eLogic: Tracks and monitors the activities of your website.  Provides stat counters, basic web stats and small business web analytics services to help you stay on top of your game.

W3Counter:  Free, hosted website analytics solution foree, hosted website analytics solution for answering the key questions about your website: who’s your audience, how they find your site, and what interests them.

Just like any other part of your business, it’s important to create goals, test, track and measure your website activity so that you’ll know what’s working and what’s not.

Do you know what’s one of the most important things to consider when writing press releases, articles, books, website copy, etc.?  If you guessed the title, then you’re correct!  Think about the last time you were at magazine stand browsing around, the titles stood out more than anything.  Typically, you don’t have time to read the entire article right there.  Always use “fantastic”, eye-catching, jaw dropping titles for our online and offline marketing to get more visitors, readers and feedback.

Title Nitty-Gritty

Each page’s title can be used to optimize your website, which is what everyone wants, right?  Don’t think of the title as a little blurb at the top – take full advantage of it.  For example, if you’re a Life Coach, your title shouldn’t just be “Jane Doe – Life Coach”.  Include some of the following to further optimize your page and site:

• Keywords – Use some of the keywords that you normally use on your web site on your page title also.  Keywords are used to improve your rankings.  Make sure that you have carefully chosen these through research.  Choose your keywords carefully so that as someone would use to search the product and/or service that you offer.

• Bait and Hook – What do your target market want to hear?  What is going to keep them reading the entire page as well as visit other pages on your site?  Numbers and bullets always seem to make it better because it breaks it down into smaller pieces.  Numbers are even better because people know how much they have to read to the end.

• Spotlight – A title should be one line, and use a minimum amount of words that will appeal to readers.  The title should include a keyword or a keyword phrase.  Use that keyword again in the first sentence of the opening paragraph to emphasize the title.

Even if you use titles on your blog posts and articles, you can still benefit from a headline on your web page.  The post is just one portion of the information contained on your web page.  Your blog posts’ titles should be optimized as well.

• Font Size – Your headline needs to stand out from the rest of the information on the page.  Use a larger, bolder font, but nothing too fancy.  You want your readers to see it AND understand it.

• Use Keywords – Give a brief description on what the post is about.  Use that keyword your readers will know if the information will pertain to them.

• Use a Link – When someone runs their mouse across the headline, they will realize that it is clickable.  It can link to your home page, your site map or anywhere else on your site that may be helpful to your readers.

Titles and headlines are front and center on your page.  Make them eye-catching and enticing so your visitors will stay and read more.

If you have been putting your e-mail marketing on the backburner because of time, Integrity Virtual does offer this as a service. If you want to do your own e-mail marketing, but don’t quite know where to start, Small Business Trends has created a list of 30 useful e-mail marketing applications for small businesses.

“According to MarketingSherpa’s 2010 Email Marketing Benchmark Report (free PDF excerpt here), email marketing is one of two marketing budget items that saw an increase in 2009. The other is social media.” Amazing! If you’re not using e-mail marketing in your marketing strategies, you may want to get started soon. Check out this list or contact Integrity Virtual today!

As many of you know, the Virtual Assistant and Online Service Provider industry is growing in leaps and bounds with many new Virtual Business Owners emerging each day. It is essential to ensure that you have equipped yourself with the right niche skills, so that you can deliver “in-demand” services to your client base in 2010.

The end of the year is a great time to consider the new skills training opportunities that will help to give your virtual business a competitive edge in the new year!

I have found VAClassroom courses to do exactly that: Provide high quality, “in-demand” training programs to sharpen your skills and boost your client and income potential for your business.

Over the last 12 months, VAClassroom has been busy producing some of the most current and innovative VA training programs on the web today, including courses on Social Media, Internet Marketing, Copywriting, Virtual Events and Blogging.

This is a great opportunity to check out these popular VAClassroom courses, as they have currently just launched a Christmas Special and this is your opportunity to take any of their training courses at a significantly reduced rate.

For the month of December, VAClassroom will be taking an additional 25% off their already reasonable programs!

Here are our four training programs that will qualify under this discount:

FANTASTIC FACEBOOK PAGES PROGRAM (regular $97)
Discover a step-by-step blueprint for creating a compelling Facebook Fanpage for you and your clients!

BLOG MARKETING TIPS, TOOLS, & TACTICS (regular $97)
Access an “easy to implement” blog marketing system for significantly increasing your blog exposure, visibility and results! The course also provides a bonus 50-page start-up guide to build your own Word Press Blog with all the “bells and whistles”.

SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING SPECIALIST CERTIFICATION (regular $397)
VAClassroom’s most popular certification program to date, the Social Media Training course will give you current Social Media skills to be able to offer “in-demand” services in the areas of:
- Social Media coaching and strategy development
- Social networking management (Twitter, Linkedin & Facebook)
- Online video marketing
- Online reputation management
- Social media content marketing (Hubpages and Squidoo)

INTERNET MARKETING VA TRAINING PROGRAM (regular $197)
This program will provide you with a well-rounded skill base across the most commonly outsourced Internet Marketing areas including:
- Email Marketing
- Search Engine Optimization
- Affilate Marketing & Management
- Web Analytics & Tracking
- Blogging & Social Media
- Internet Market Research

Save 25% off these regular prices by using the below coupon code, which will expire at midnight on December 31, 2009.

http://www.vaclassroom.com
25% Discount Coupon: BESTXMAS

NOTE: There are 50 discount seats available for each of the VAClassrom training courses, so be sure to check out these popular programs sooner than later at http://tinyurl.com/yahoy7w.